Center of the Universe (Twelfth Keeper) Page 6
Believing that junk was stupid anyway, and she refused to give it credence. Gossip magazines got their information wrong all the time. This time was no different.
A hand rested on her arm, and she looked up to see Reagan’s concerned expression. “You okay?” she mouthed.
Kennedy nodded, not wanting to talk about it in front of Hunter. “It’s not true,” she whispered back.
Reagan nodded and offered a comforting smile. “I didn’t think so either.”
Unsteady legs guided her out the door behind Hunter and Reagan. She felt shaky all over, as if she wanted to separate herself from this feeling, to escape from it somehow.
She never knew Phoenix had dated Hephsa Hannigan. He never mentioned her before. Perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing, since she sorta wished she never found out. Hard not to be a little self-conscious after seeing that picture. Hephsa was absolutely beautiful, exactly the type of girl one would expect to be in Phoenix’s league. Not only that, but her family was well known for creating a cancer research organization, so she had the whole humanitarian thing going on for her as well.
And then there was that nagging scene playing out in her head from the night in the glass room, and how she brought up the subject of exclusivity. Or tried to, at least. Phoenix didn’t want to put a label on their relationship. No matter how sweetly he dressed it up, it all boiled down to that. It was the worst kind of rejection, eating at her insides like acid. If he and Hephsa were good enough for a label, did that mean he was ashamed of her?
She brushed the thought away, determined not to take the insecure route again. I am a keeper of this planet, dammit. How can I expect anyone else to respect me if I can’t even respect myself?
She steeled her shoulders and held her head a little higher. He didn’t want a label? Fine—she didn’t want one either.
“There she is!”
Kennedy whipped around to see a slew of reporters rounding the corner of the ice cream parlor. Rapid clicks of cameras went off in succession. They surrounded her from all sides, impeding her path. Questions were fired off in a distorted jumble of voices, and she didn’t know where to look or who to listen to.
Hunter draped an arm over her shoulder, shielding her from the crowd. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll get you out of here.”
The reporters went crazy seeing Hunter there; everyone assumed she was dating him after that kiss he planted on her the day she left for Olympus. Pictures of that moment had been all over the news for weeks. Kennedy cringed every time she saw it, not because Hunter had kissed her, but because she looked shell-shocked and intimidated by the onslaught of people. She didn’t want to be known as a weakling.
This time she tried to keep her wits about her, smiling politely, and waving for the camera diplomatically. Aggressive reporters egged Hunter on, shouting things like, “Come on, dude! Kiss her again!”
The whole thing would’ve been ridiculously funny under normal circumstances. But then the reporters started chanting “Kiss her, kiss her!” in unison, and she could tell by the way Hunter grinned at their antics that it was pumping up his ego. He even looked at her for a moment, questioning whether or not he should. She didn’t give him the permission his eyes sought out, but like an idiot, she didn’t give him a resounding no either. She should have. Because he didn’t waste the opportunity.
He used the arm he had wrapped around her to steer her body towards his. She didn’t have time to think or react before his lips claimed hers. And by then, it was too late.
For a brief moment, she contemplated shoving him away. But then the furious clicking of cameras grew louder in her ears, reminding her that they had an audience. She couldn’t humiliate Hunter like that.
So she let him kiss her.
Even kissed him back.
It wasn’t bad, the feeling of him pressed up against her, the taste of his lips—she’d be lying if she said there wasn’t anything nice about it. At the same time, it wasn’t like the last kiss. She didn’t feel the same thrill. Perhaps more importantly, she didn’t feel like she was on fire…like the way she did with Phoenix.
Phoenix.
Hunter pulled away and grinned as the teeming reporters vied to get their attention. The familiar sinking feeling came back, reminding her why there was no excitement this time.
That first kiss on her porch came before she knew Phoenix, before he’d stolen her heart. And now it belonged wholly, and utterly, to him.
She was going straight to hell, no questions about it.
Hunter shoved his way through the crowd, shouting for people to get back. He reached for her hand, and she let him take it. Reagan followed closely behind, but Kennedy didn’t dare look back to face her sister. She could only imagine what was waiting for her there.
Six
“Tell me I’m a horrible person.”
Reagan knitted her brows together. “Okay. You’re a horrible person.”
Kennedy fell onto the living room sofa and groaned. “That didn’t help.”
An amused noise came from the back of Reagan’s throat. “Was it supposed to make you feel better?”
“Yes—no. I don’t know.” She groaned again. “Oh God, Rea. What’s wrong with me?”
Reagan plopped into the seat beside Kennedy. “You probably belong to the dark side.”
She craned her neck and got an upside down view of her sister smirking at her. Although the comment was clearly intended to be teasing, Kennedy considered the possibility of there being an actual dark side and debated whether or not she fit the bill.
“Stop with the face,” Reagan said, chuckling. “You’re human, Kenn. Humans make mistakes.”
Kennedy tapped her fingers against her lips, staring at the ceiling. As far as mistakes went, this was a big one.
“Not gonna lie,” Reagan said. “What you did was really wrong—”
“Possibly the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
“Maybe.”
She craned her neck again, cocking a brow at Reagan. “You suck at consoling people, you know that?”
Reagan shrugged a shoulder. “I’m being honest. You need to get over yourself, and tell Hunter the truth. What you’re doing isn’t fair to him.”
Kennedy let out a miserable sigh. Since she’d been home, she tried to put some distance between them, and she tried to come off as uninterested. But she wasn’t going to make excuses, because no matter how good her intentions had been, in the end they were just excuses. She should’ve told Hunter about Phoenix. Period.
“You’re right,” she finally said. “I do know that, and I’m going to fix it.”
She felt Reagan’s fingers thread through her hair, then pat the top of her head. “I wish you lots of luck for when that time comes.”
“Do you think he’ll hate me?” She chewed at her bottom lip, waiting for Reagan’s answer. Her sister was truthful to the point of bluntness, and her answer would be an honest one.
“No,” she said after a long moment. “I don’t think he’ll hate you. He might be hurt for a while though.”
“I can’t hurt him.”
“I don’t think you can avoid it, Kenn. That boy is in love with you. And when the person you love doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings, there is going to be pain no matter how much you dull the knife.”
Kennedy sat up and looked at Reagan. There was a distance in her expression and demeanor that wasn’t there before. Sunlight streamed through the front window, and her eyes shimmered for a split second. It was obvious those words held a deeper meaning than what reflected off the surface.
She knew how much Dean meant to Reagan, and Kennedy could only imagine what her heart must be going through. They were supposed to be a forever couple; the childhood sweethearts that grew old together and shared the love others only wished they could find. Losing that kind of forever must be…shattering. Her own issues didn’t compare to whatever Reagan was feeling, and it made her feel a little silly for sitting here whining about them.
“Did you know that Mom is dating Jake?” Hints of humor replaced the sorrow in Reagan’s face, and the mood switched to a lighter one.
“Are you serious?”
Reagan nodded, her lips curling slightly.
“For how long? She never told me they were dating.”
“Don’t take it personally. She’s hiding it from everyone. Even me.”
Kennedy sat up a little straighter, trying to read Reagan’s expression. She didn’t look like she was joking. Still, that comment needed immediate clarification. “What do you mean she’s hiding it?”
Reagan giggled. “She gets all dressed up, does her hair and makeup and then asks me to watch Linc. After that, she’ll make up some terrible lie about where she’s going—as if she expects I’ll buy that crap. She even used grocery shopping as her excuse once while she was wearing heels.”
“No, she didn’t.” Laughter erupted deep within her gut. “So how do you know it’s Jake she’s seeing? It could be anyone.” Please, God, let it be anyone else.
“Because I’ve seen him sneaking around the hedges to meet her. They act like high schoolers, I swear.” Reagan sighed as if she were the adult in this family. “Well, also Hunter told me,” she admitted. “But I would’ve figured it on my own eventually. Watching the two of them is like a soap opera in action. I can’t tell you how many things around the house Jake has come over to allegedly fix. Let’s just say I think more than a few pipes have been cleaned around here.”
Kennedy was torn between laughing and groaning. She turned her head into the back of the sofa. “That’s disgusting, Rea. I did not want that image in my head.”
“Hey, at least you haven’t been around to watch the whole thing play out. Think about what I’ve had to deal with.”
“But it’s Jake.” Kennedy squeezed her eyes shut. “Hunter’s dad. That’s too weird for me to process.”
“Tell me about it.” Reagan laughed some more, and after she quieted, she said, “But she seems happy. It’s nice to see her so happy.”
Kennedy tried to feel happy for her mom, she really did. And then another image popped up of the two of them kissing—of Ashley kissing the father of the same son who kissed her only an hour ago—and she felt all sorts of skeevy. “Nope. I can’t handle it.”
“You’re gonna have to,” Reagan warned her. “Because I doubt Jake’s going anywhere anytime soon. Why do you think Mom hasn’t bought a new house yet?”
So that’s why she’d been so reluctant to move. And all this time, Kennedy assumed her mom preferred to live a life of humility, the sneaky little harlot. She thought about confronting Ashley, but quickly changed her mind. Keeping that stuff under wraps was best for everyone. Otherwise, Jake might be coming over for dinner, staying the night and whatnot. It was bad enough knowing about it. She certainly didn’t want to witness it too.
Later that night, Reagan nudged Kennedy at the dinner table. She looked up and saw her sister point towards Ashley staring at her brace with a stupid grin on her face.
Kennedy forced her bite of enchilada down with a hearty gulp of water, and Reagan shot her an I told you so look.
There was no denying the grin on her mom’s face was one of a smitten woman.
Damn.
She’d been hoping Reagan got it all wrong somehow. “Mom,” Kennedy said, forcing her voice to sound sugary sweet. “No brace time at the table, remember? You should, since you came up with that rule.”
All starry-eyed, her mom looked up and didn’t even come back with a smart-ass reply. “Of course, sweetie. How’s the food?”
Kennedy slowly set her glass down as Ashley continued to softly chuckle over whatever text popped up next on her brace. She turned to Reagan and whispered, “Did she even hear me?”
“Not above the sound of the birds whistling sweet love songs.”
“Oh that’s real cute.” She narrowed her eyes on her sister, who wasn’t taking any of this seriously.
Reagan cupped a hand around her mouth. “You’re just mad at the possibility of Hunter becoming your b-r-o-t-h-e-r.” She spelled it out as if Ashley was paying them any amount of attention.
Kennedy opened her mouth and closed it again.
Oh dear God.
That wasn’t actually a possibility, was it?
Reagan’s eyes glinted as she silently shook with laughter, and it pissed Kennedy off. Not because Reagan was laughing at her, but because she might be right.
~ ~
Kennedy got little sleep lying in her bed that night. Each time she closed her eyes, she saw something worse than the last—Phoenix canoodling with Hephsa Hannigan. Reporters chanting while Hunter kissed her. Ashley and Jake in a church, saying their I dos. And each time, Kennedy’s eyes shot open, a rush of invisible needles pricking her clammy skin.
Man what she wouldn’t do for a sleep agent right now and the magical mist sprayed at the click of a button.
She’d pretty much given up on any chance of sleep when her wrist buzzed. She stared at Hunter’s picture for a few seconds before answering. Dragging this out hadn’t worked very well so far. “Hi, Hunt.”
“Good, you’re awake,” he said in a low voice. “Come to the window.”
Kennedy crawled out of bed, casting a glance over her shoulder to make sure Reagan was asleep. Soft snores came from her direction, and envy wrenched her insides at how easily sleep came for her sister.
She adjusted her tank top, took a few deep breaths, and slid the drapes apart. Hunter stood across from her, only a few feet away, staring out his own bedroom window. Their close proximity used to make her feel grateful. Made late night conversations a heck of a lot easier.
“Hey.” He wore a pair of pajama pants—and that was it—clearly comfortable with showing off his newly defined body.
She fidgeted with the ends of her hair nervously. “Hey.”
“I wanted to talk about today.”
Well, that canceled any ideas she had about avoiding this conversation.
“Okay.”
“About what happened…” He rubbed the back of his head, looked up at the ceiling and then back at her. “Was that…okay?”
First question out of the bag, and it felt like a missile straight to the chest. She needed a moment to close her eyes and send a silent prayer up to the heavens to help her get through this. Whatever words tumbled out of her mouth had to be the right ones. Hunter couldn’t hate her after this.
“I mean, it felt right to me,” he said. “But you seemed sort of, I don’t know, distant. And I can’t tell if it’s because things are different between us, or because you’re uncomfortable with this.”
Here was her opportunity staring her in the face, but the words she prayed for never came. Instead, her tongue swelled to the point where speaking seemed impossible.
“Say something, Kenn. I don’t want things to get weird between us.” He shifted his stance. “Is it because of the keeper thing? Are you afraid of starting something, knowing you have to go back to Olympus at the end of the month?”
Actually, she hadn’t thought of that. But it wasn’t a bad reason, and it sounded so much easier to accept than anything she could’ve said.
“Yes.”
Although on some level it was true, the word still sounded incomplete on its own. Telling him about Phoenix suddenly seemed so unnecessary though. Why did she have to put him through that? Hurting Hunter all for a guy who didn’t think she was good enough to call his girlfriend didn’t seem worth it. Especially when there were plenty of other reasons why they shouldn’t be together. Reasons that existed and didn’t cause as much pain.
She looked up at Hunter and saw he wasn’t all that surprised by
her answer.
“It sucks that this happened as a result of you leaving,” he said, leaning against the frame. “And I’m sorry, Kenn. I’m sorry I was such a dumbass.”
Hold up—he was sorry?
“You’re not a dumbass, Hunt. Why would you say that?”
He let out a long sigh. “Yes, I am. I should’ve known how much you meant to me a long time ago.”
Kennedy swallowed, knowing exactly how he felt. Hearing him say it out loud was something altogether different though, and his words twisted around her heart in a painful way. “I should’ve known too,” she breathed. “So I guess I’m a dumbass, too.” And it was true. If she had thought of him as more than just a friend before DOE showed up, they would be having an entirely different conversation right now.
Hunter laid his palm flat against the windowpane. “Why does it take losing something for you to realize how much you loved it?”
Kennedy felt her throat constrict. He used the words love. Indirectly, but knowing that’s how strongly he felt made her wish she’d never been born the twelfth keeper, that she’d never met Phoenix Jorgensen, and that whatever happened that day on the porch wasn’t surrounded by circumstances beyond their control.
Tears blurred her vision. She laid her own shaky hand across the glass in front of her. “In another life, Hunter, I would’ve…”
“I know,” he said, nodding. His hand fisted into a ball. “You don’t have to say it. I know.”
Oh God. He was making this ten times harder. In steeling herself for his hatred, she never expected to receive his compassion. Either that or she wasn’t so sure she deserved it.
“Will we still be friends?” Her voice broke, and she did nothing to hide it. It was impossible at this point anyway. “Because I can’t live a life without you as my friend.”
He half-laughed, half-sighed. “Of course we’ll still be friends. I couldn’t not be your friend if I tried.”
Tightly wound muscles loosened in every part of her body. That was everything she could’ve hoped to hear and more. She gave him a watery smile. She hadn’t told him everything, but at least he knew where she stood.